There are many ways for a woman to get what she wants. And it starts with being on your own. For a very long time, I valued my independence and learned not to rely on other people. I worked my ass off just so I could show people I can make it alone. I haven't been exactly euphoric and at least I find personal satisfaction when I achieve something, bought something, enjoyed a wonderful meal, taken quite and peaceful walks, watched unforgettable movies and series, doing creative crafts, listening to my music, experimenting in the kitchen, writing to my journal, shopping cheap bargains, going to a spa, dressing up for winter, reading a good book, pampering my skin and hair, cleaning my room and basking in a sweet scent after, taking time in the shower with a cool body wash, those are my cheap thrills that I can very much do alone. I am such a homebody that you don't run out of things to do. And then slowly I let myself cling to someone. Like I thought it was so much better to share things with your significant other. I admit it was different and real and fun. Until I got to a point where I wouldn't do things until he's with me. Then you realize you can't put your life on hold because of him. You have to stand both on your feet and drag yourself into where you want to be. You can never count on people as much as you count on you. I have lived my life before knowing exactly how I should do it. Just me and my determination. The combination dwindled a bit lately but I am set now into tapping that again. The worst part of waiting for someone is that when it doesn't happen, it crushes you in a million pieces and you start to tell yourself, "I should have done it on my own, at least when I fail I have no one else to blame but myself". That will be my mantra.
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